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    September 13

    关于我的一些。。。。。。

    时间有限,精力有限,我必须选择,选择一种生活。
    我不喜欢阳光,白天总习惯拉上窗帘,到夜晚拉开,执着的认为黑夜更能给人安全感。我害怕一切暴露于光天化日之下,一种丑恶肮脏无可藏匿的恐惧,就这样赤裸裸的瑟缩在别人的目光里,很尴尬。黑夜则可以隐藏,隐藏我的或者是别人的不为人知的,美的或丑的情感。我看不见他,他也看不见我,阴谋得逞般窃喜!夜静,思维激荡,会想很多很多。把陈年旧事扒出来,反过来瞧瞧,看看能不能想一个说服自己的理由。但每每不遂心,没有结果只好睡觉,我永远无法说服自己,因为想出的版本太多,不知道要接受哪一个。在思维的天平上摇摆不定,郁郁寡欢,不如睡去。。。但我还是选择在黑夜思考。
    我是典型的天秤,天秤座的一切特征,好的坏的都能在我身上得到完美印证。性格双重,追求完美,轻微强迫症。连桌子上的化妆品也是按高低排序,从不因为时间紧迫而破坏使用过后的顺序;书架上也是,《新闻传播史》挨着《千年一叹》,就永远是这样的组合,偶尔被借还书的朋友打乱也会被我恢复至原样。善于交际,乐于让别人觉得我这人还不错。朋友多,得到的爱就会多,我不能没有爱,绝对不能,那会让我窒息。还好,这样的时候没出现过。懒惰,我不会做饭,洗衣!但我却很会收拾屋子,我喜欢让我生活中的一切按照我的思维陈设,我天生就有很强的控制欲,当我不能控制情感中的很多人或事时我便热衷于控制死物来满足一下心里的失衡!

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    宽来看看你,感觉你的文笔很好啊,感觉现在成熟很多了,不像我还是稚嫩的很,马上都要走向社会了,我都不知道我一个弱女子怎么去适应这个社会唉
    Oct. 20

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